We Will Move Any Mountain

2011-09-04T07:40:00.002-05:00

I have been gone for awhile. Well, not gone gone, I'm still here at home, but gone from the bloggy world. There are a few families that I still check on every day, but for the part I just stay away. And as for writing here, it just feels wrong. This is Carmen's space, and it doesn't feel right to me to be writing about our normal daily life. I am still praying for Carmen, and yesterday I donated to her grant fund again. It's about all I can do for her at this point. With other families desperately fundraising right before their travel dates, I feel like if I put up a chipin I would not get much (if any) response. So, instead of purchasing items for a giveaway for now I feel it is a better use of my resources to just donate directly to her fund.

If I ever have anything to say again that is worth anything at all, I will probably post it on our family blog, www.thegoggblog.blogspot.com. Then again, I want people to continue to come to this blog and see Carmen's picture every time, and perhaps be led to help her so...maybe not.

Catzilla

2011-08-05T08:28:00.003-05:00

There is a new monster in town.

On a side note, Maddie was playing with this little house the other evening in her bedroom before lights out. I went in there to take her for her last potty and put her night diaper on, and said to me "Grandma is in this house and I'm going to close the door to keep her inside and so that she can sleep." When we got back from the bathroom, she knelt down by the house and then jumped back up with her hands cupped together. She climbed into her bed with her hands still like that and I asked her what she was doing. She said "I have Grandma in my hands."

Awww....

Silence

2011-08-01T07:56:00.005-05:00

The silence around here is deafening. It hurts beyond words to have family not even ask about what happened, to not even acknowledge the loss we feel. She was real to us. Maybe you thought we were just dreaming, and never seriously thought it would happen, but we did. The loss we feel is real, and true, and deep. Yet...nothing. No comforting words, no questions about the true reasons we had to withdraw. Avoiding the topic and pretending like we never said we felt she was our daughter is just heaping more pain on the pain we already feel.

****edited to add:

It seems I need to clarify for someone who is reading my blog and should not be. I don't expect those close to us to grieve. I do expect them to care. If not for someone we care about, then at least for us. Just to care, that's all.

Time to Post

2011-07-24T16:11:00.003-05:00

"Jealousy is an ugly emotion."

This statement I posted as my FB status a few days ago. I didn't identify the specific individual that caused this thought to course through me all day long. I confess when I read the status updates of family and friends whom I know in real life I often wonder if they are talking about me, if they are negative or judgmental statements such as mine above.

I was speaking of myself. On that day another wonderful and blessed family completed their adoption of their precious child with designer genes. I am so very happy for all of these families, and for the children that they are saving. Right now there are a large number of families in process (congrats Reece's Rainbow!), and many of the ones whose stories pulled me in the direction of Carmen are either in country right now or have recently returned home. I would like to be able to truthfully state that I only feel happiness and joy, because this is a wonderful thing. Reece's Rainbow is making growing and changing the lives of more orphans than ever before. But I am human. I am sinful. I am about as far from Godly as one can be. I am jealous. I want this for Carmen, and for my family.

It is what it is.

Look at this picture.

On Wednesday night last week, I tried a new recipe. The main dish took much longer to prepare and cook than I had anticipated, so the cauliflower was finished too soon. The kids were starving. Here is Maddie, sitting on the counter eating cauliflower out of an orange plastic bowl. She just couldn't wait any longer. Tastes like candy to her!

On the note of candy, I took the girls to the dentist on Thursday for cleanings and exams. Surprisingly, Maddie allowed the hygienist to clean her teeth. The dentist said that Taylor has decay starting in her back teeth. Apparently they have very deep grooves, and the very thorough brushing I give them twice a day is not enough to fight genetics. Tomorrow morning I will take her to have all four lower back teeth drilled and filled with white stuff (they are not bad enough to need the silver fillings or caps, but if we don't do something about it they will be soon). She will be having nitrous oxide, and I seriously can't wait to see her giggling. I will admit to a little bit of fear though, too. :)

Oh, and all of this with no dental insurance. Good times.

Just to be Clear...

2011-07-18T16:50:00.004-05:00

I feel the need to clear something up. Some of my wonderful RR friends have left comments offering to help us raise money, if we still want to adopt Carmen. Of course we still want to adopt Carmen. If only it were about what we want. Comments telling us that God provides, and to just have faith that the money will come. I appreciate these comments and the caring hearts behind them. However, for clarification I need to tell you that the expenses associated with the adoption are not the only reason we had to stop. The money is part of it, sure. But we are not using that as an excuse, because we knew it would be expensive right from the start.

I just don't want everyone to think that we walked away from Carmen "because it's just too much money". There is no cost too high for that baby's life and love. She is priceless, to us.

2011-07-16T09:01:00.003-05:00

Since I don't have an original thought today, I would ask you to please click on this link. The part I especially want you to see is about three quarters of the way down the page, the pictures of little Teri Lynn. There is first a picture of her taken while she was still at the baby house. The next picture of her was taken after she was transferred from the orphanage to the adult mental institution. You can clearly see the difference, and it goes beyond the shaved head. Notice the color of her skin, and the droopy, blank eyes. The light is going out of her already, and she was just transferred recently. Carmen will be three in September. The really lucky children aren't transferred until after age 5, but at the early age of 4 they are eligible to be transferred. Actually, the really lucky children are "transferred" to their new homes with loving families. Please help Carmen by donating to her grant fund. The link is still on the right sidebar. I can't bear the thought of her living in those awful places, with her beautiful blond hair shaved off and the sparkle dying in her eyes. That little smirk she wears in the only picture we have of her? It's what drew me to her in the beginning. I love it. I can't stand to think that funny little smirk will be replaced with a lifeless mouth, just hanging open as she stares blankly at everything around her. All I can do to help her at this point is ask you to pray for her, pray that her family comes for her soon, and to donate to her grant fund. I'm on my knees every day for that little girl. We love her. Please love her too, and help her.

Mumblings and Ramblings and Even Some Begging

2011-07-14T08:47:00.006-05:00

As I do every single day, I went to Reece's Rainbow to check Carmen's status. I can't explain the mixture of feelings I feel each time I do this. I pray for her, every single day I pray for a family to step forward and commit to her. God knows my heart. He knows my mind. So when I pray for this, he knows that part of me is praying for that family to be ours. He is probably questioning my sincerity when I pray for a family to claim her. The conflicting feelings that ambush me when I see Carmen still on the waiting children page cause me to feel guilty, and a little bit ashamed. I want her to find a family. I very badly want her to find a family. But, and I am baring my soul here, we still love her and want her so there is a tiny element of relief I feel when I see her still available. It's terrible, I know. I hate that this feeling pops up, uninvited.

Will you please help me in praying for Carmen, that her family will find her soon? Will you please help me by donating to her fund, which could possibly help a family to step forward more quickly? Halting our adoption of her was a hard, tough, painful decision. And it was not based solely on money, though that aspect played into the ultimate decision. Perhaps money is the only thing stopping another family from committing to her, so please donate a little if you can. I have been making weekly donations, but I can't do it on my own. If I could, well then I wouldn't be asking you guys for this!

http://reecesrainbow.org/carmen-3-g

Click on the link and donating is easy-peasy. Please please please donate to her fund.

When I checked the MFFM page yesterday (not something I do often, as I can learn Carmen's status just by checking the waiting children page). There were three little girls new to that page, recent commitments. They have been listed on the site, waiting, for far less time than Carmen has been. Tears fell and praying became more forceful. I just can't for the life of me see anyone wouldn't choose her first. Maybe you know somebody who wants a precious blond doll baby?

Warning: Pity Party

2011-07-03T07:44:00.006-05:00

I'm feeling sorry for myself this morning, so feel free to skip this post if you don't want to hear me whine.

As I feel my dream slipping farther away with each passing day, I am losing hope for Carmen as well. I really thought that there was someone waiting in the wings, ready to step forward and commit to her the second we released her. I know that there are other children where this is the case, where there is another family who wanted them and just didn't commit in time. This may be selfish, but part of me wanted this to happen because it would be "proof" that we did the right thing.

I thought that those against our adoption would eventually come around once they knew the full extent of the neglect these kids face every day. The conditions that go from bad to worse when they turn 4 and are transferred to adult mental institutions. Yet another child, little Victoria, has come onto US soil only to be immediately hospitalized, fighting for her life. She is not the first one. She will not be the last.

I thought those family members who didn't donate to our adoption would donate directly to Carmen once we withdrew.

I thought love wins, not money.

I thought Taylor and Maddie would have stopped asking about Carmen by now. When Maddie says "I am going to be a big sister" and "Carmen is going to be part of our family", my heart twists painfully.

Tomorrow is the 4th of July. A day to celebrate freedom. What freedom? Seems to me we are trapped by the people around us. Wanting to "be the change" and wanting to do good things, but held back by the very people who are supposed to love us.

"Love bears all things,
Believes all things,
Hopes all things,
Endures all things.
Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:7-8

2011-06-30T08:54:00.001-05:00

Last evening I walked into Taylor's bedroom to see the girls stuffing Littlest Pet Shop figurines into each other's shirts. Maddie told me she was going to "push them out" and then proceeded to grunt and groan like a woman giving birth. These pictures are from this morning, however, because I caught them playing this game again.

Really people, I only have three movies that have scenes with women giving birth, and I don't watch them that often! I'm not sure why this "game" is such a favorite. The good news is the girls have been playing together nicely.....

The other good news is that Taylor says she never wants to have a baby, it hurts too much. Now just remember that when you are a teenager....

Click on this Link

2011-06-29T08:08:00.004-05:00

Here is a great post about lies Satan tells us about adoption. Satan, who finds a voice through various people in our lives, is trying to win. He has knocked us off of the path we are called to be on, and we will fight him to regain our footing.

http://everlastingmomentum.blogspot.com/2010/12/lies-satan-tells-about-adoption.html

Edited to add:

I realized after thinking about this post later in the day that some people may become offended after reading this, remembering having said these things to us and now feeling like I am calling them Satan. This is not true. I don't claim to understand how Satan works, but I am pretty sure that (most) of the people in our lives who have said these things to us did so with good intentions. With the pure motivation to help. I think Satan is behind the doubts and fears, and that is all I meant.

Changes

2011-06-26T15:56:00.002-05:00

So, I don't know if you all have noticed the changes I have made to the blog and to Carmen's Facebook page. The removal of our family sponsorship link, Chipin and fundraising thermometer are obvious, and done for obvious reasons. I am leaving the tabs at the top, because regardless of the state of our adoption they all contain pertinent information. I am now Carmen's prayer warrior, so I am hoping that I can get another button made for her that you can click on to donate, like the one for our family sponsorship page.

BTW, have you donated to her grant fund yet? I have, just this morning.

I thought about it, and have decided not to change the few words that are at the top underneath the blog title. She is still part of our heart, she still lives (neglected and unloved) in Eastern Europe, she is still blond, she still has Down Syndrome (duh), and she is still perfect. And, perhaps most importantly, we are still on our adoption journey. We just had to take a detour. So, it stays the same.

This morning Madison (my two year old) walks into the kitchen and says to me "Carmen is going to be part of our family". Now, it is common for her to say something about Carmen when she sees her picture on the computer. Out of the blue like that? Shows me that a tiny two year old mind thinks in more depth than I ever knew. Beyond the next toy, the next snack, the next trip to the park. She also often says "I am going to be a big sister". Taylor often says "when is that baby Carmen going to come live with us?" and "I am going to give her kisses and hugs and share all my toys". I have mixed feelings about these instances. I fear I made a mistake in telling the girls about Carmen too soon. Or rather, not necessarily about her too soon, but I shouldn't have made it out to be a "done deal". I feel it is vital that we talk to our children about how very lucky they are, living in a nice home with a family, plenty of food and toys, and all the kisses and hugs that they could possibly want. It's important that they have a broader understanding about other places and cultures, and about the wrongs in the world that they can help right. Again, I should have waited to explain exactly how Carmen was going to fit into their lives. But another part of my heart rejoices that my little ones are so willing to share love and to welcome one orphan halfway across the world into their lives.

Live and learn.

Mia's Homecoming Video

2011-06-24T19:29:00.003-05:00

Please watch this first, if you haven't already. On second thought, be like me and watch it again.

http://kareensjourneyhome.blogspot.com/2011/06/mias-homecoming-video.html

I have been following multiple RR families' adoption journeys, and seen several videos of "first meetings" and homecomings. I don't know exactly why I feel the most connected to Kecia Cox and Mia, but I do. I can't explain why watching videos and seeing pictures of Mia evokes such deep feelings. First of all the song they chose is a particular favorite of mine and the words so clearly fit with an orphan's homecoming. But it's more than that. I cried. Both times.

If you are not moved by this video, you must have a heart made of stone. If you don't want to do your part, sacrifice some small thing (or many large things, like us), than your heart is surely different from mine. I am resolved anew to help my Carmen.

If you can, please donate to her grant fund on Reece's Rainbow. Maybe that will help another family come forward more quickly to commit to bringing her home. It hurts to say that. Here is the link:

http://reecesrainbow.org/carmen-3-g

Reaching

2011-06-21T09:48:00.003-05:00

I am an avid reader. One of the mine and the girls' favorite excursions is to Half Price Books where we raid the clearance shelves and come home with 25 books for $30. I will plow through old $1 paperback novels so quickly that we usually have to return within one month.

That's just a little background leading up to this. I often times find passages or thoughts from characters that I can relate to things that are happening in my life, or to feelings that I have. Just a few minutes ago I read this statement and response in a 2002 historical romance, Kingdom of Moonlight.

"Persistence in the face of adversity is to be admired."

"So is a realistic assessment of the chances for success."

I am torn, that is no secret, emotion tries to overrule logic and reasoning. This passage directly applies to our situation though it gives no clarity, for which statement is correct? Which idea rules supreme? I know two things. We made the right decision and we are not giving up. Neither idea reigns supreme. It is a balance you must find.

Yesterday when I picked up Cameron from the Robotics Camp his father registered him for at a local elementary school, I ran into one of the students in the Learning Program toddler class I volunteered for last weekend (and her mother too, of course!). Her name is Lucy, and I think she is 3 years old, and she is blond and absolutely adorable. There was probably 100 children and adults swarming in the entrance hall, and the Learning Program is held 40 miles south of this school. How did we happen to be in the same place at the same time? God placed her in my path, to remind me where my heart is and that our path is set.

Father's Day and Then Some

2011-06-19T16:22:00.003-05:00

Happy Father's Day!

To this man. This man has the biggest heart of any man I know. Lucky for me, this heart of his is generous, loving, patient and forgiving. The perfect heart for a father to have.

And also to my own Dad. How I wish he was still here on earth with us. I miss him with every inch of my heart, and I hate hate hate the fact that my two youngest girls never even really knew him. He died when Taylor was less than two years old, and Maddie was born two years and 5 days after his death. He was such a good grandpa. When Brittany was a baby and I was working 12 hour shifts, my mother took care of her. On Wednesday evenings my Dad had church choir practice, and my Mom would take Brittany into town and meet my Dad at Central Market where they would eat and shop and then my Dad would go on to choir and my Mom would take Brittany home. My Mom says that Dad would push Brittany around in the cart while she shopped and the ladies would go up to Dad and flirt with him while cooing over Brittany. Women love men with babies, no matter the age I guess! I love this story and I think of it often. I can't count the number of times that I say something, or Corey says something, that I then say "my dad used to say that". It makes me feel closer to him to use expressions he commonly used, and at the same time it surprises me too because most of the time they are expressions that used to drive me crazy growing up.

For some reason this Father's Day is more difficult for me than last year. I thought these holidays were supposed to get easier as time passed. I wonder if it is because of the stalled adoption? I have often wondered what Dad would have thought about all of this. Maybe that's why this year is harder.

Choices, Regrets and the Future

2011-06-18T08:57:00.002-05:00

I have learned that my fear of being looked upon by fellow RR families and advocates as "irresponsible" or "bad" for releasing Carmen was unfounded. I have received nothing but kind words and support from you all and I thank you. It helps, a little. It was the right thing to do after all. As much as I want her, what she wants is a family. A family who can get to her quickly, before she is transferred. That is not us. The adoption is not about me, it's about her.

That being said, you better believe that this is not over. Not by a long shot. We will continue to pray, and work towards this. I do not think that I was wrong in reading God's calling to me. His timing is not always my timing, however.

What is our next step?

Well, we will continue to pray for Carmen, and try to raise funds for her grant. I say "try" because the fundraising environment is not great right now, that is the major reason we had to stop and reassess. Too many families are trying to solicit donations from the same people. There should be more people who are willing to give up their Starbucks in order to donate to these kids' cause, but whatever. You can't make someone's heart care for something or someone just because yours breaks for them. So the same people are donating time and time again, and there comes a point when the need is just too great for these same people to fill, no matter how generous they are.

At some point we will resume our home study, and once it is completed we will apply for the adoption loans and grants that are available once you are homestudy approved. Then we will see where we are at financially, because it is apparent that you need to be able to cover more of the expenses on your own than was the case when I first started following RR families' journeys.

Then and only then will we commit to another child. If Carmen is still waiting (please, God-no) you can bet your life we will snatch her up so fast all our heads will spin!

God's true plan will unfold. And he will be Glorified!

The Worst Day Ever

2011-06-17T07:45:00.004-05:00

Well friends, the time has come.

It is with deep regret and total heartbreak that we must announce this. At this time, we are forced to withdraw our commitment to our beloved Carmen. We are really sad at this point. I feel like I have had a miscarriage...I thought for so long that Carmen would be my daughter.

We were naive, I guess, in assuming that the money would just fall from the sky and all the little pieces would just come together. Not everyone is willing to make the sacrifices that Corey and I were willing to make in order to bring this child home.

We are set on this path, however. Have no doubt that we will do this at some point. We will adopt a child with Down Syndrome, we will save her from a life of neglect and abuse, and we will make the difference that we want to make. We have been working with a fantastic home study agency and we had scheduled the home visit for June 26th when our path was blocked, so we will pick up where we left off with the same wonderful social workers when the way is clear.

Please join us in prayer that another family will step forward quickly for Carmen. It kills me to even say that, because I still feel in my heart that she is mine. I wrote the email to Reece's Rainbow 3 days ago, but I couldn't force myself to hit "send". Two more days followed of sitting in front of the computer, changing a few words here and there, and then just saving the email again. I guess I was holding out hope that something huge would happen, that the nearly 40 grand that we would need would just drop from the sky. That hearts would be softened and opposition would disappear. Then I had to just let go of all hope. You see, it is not fair to hold on to Carmen "just in case" we can raise the money. "Just in case" hearts are changed. She needs her best chance to find a family, and quickly, and that will not happen if we are committed. The worst part of this whole thing to me is thinking of her going from the "My Family Found Me" page back to the main "Waiting Children" page. Aaarrggghhh.. That makes me cry just sitting here. It is so unfair. So, so, so unfair. If a family wants to love and care for one of these orphans, they should be able to. To me, it's as simple as that.

It goes without saying that the giveaway has been cancelled. If you want your donation back (minus the paypal fees) please leave me a comment to let me know. Any unclaimed donations will be transferred to Carmen's Reece's Rainbow grant fund.

Please pray for me. I am so confused and so heartbroken. How can I have been so wrong? How can I have completely misread God's message? What if what we are doing now is wrong, rather than the original plan? Please pray for our Carmen, that whatever is best for her will happen.

This just feels so wrong. This just sucks.

The Worst Day Ever

2011-06-17T07:45:00.002-05:00

Well friends, the time has come.

Please pray for me. I am so confused and so heartbroken. How can I have been so wrong? How can I have completely misread God's message? Maybe what we are doing now is wrong, rather than the original plan. Please pray for our Carmen, that whatever is best for her will happen.

This just feels so wrong. This just sucks.

Is it Possible?

2011-06-14T08:29:00.003-05:00

You know, it seems to me that it shouldn't be so difficult to get other people to understand why we want to give Carmen a home. To accept the gift that she would be in our lives. It shouldn't be so hard to do something so good. We shouldn't have to fight to follow God's word. We shouldn't have to plead, and cajole, and beg for someone to hear us, to really hear how important this is. There will be sacrifice. Every member of our family will sacrifice something, in some way. People's hearts are different. As Renee says, people don't love the same. No matter what words I use, I can't make someone else feel in their heart that the sacrifices are worth it, are nothing compared to the saving the life of this child. We are going to explore every avenue, exhaust every option, before we allow money to rule our hearts. Or, lack of money to be more precise.

Why is having just a few more dollars to buy a few more gadgets so important to you?

Today, I am borrowing some of Renee's strength, and faith, and words: "The want in my heart for my daughter overrides, out runs, and out shouts any obstacles that get between she and I. Any thought in my head that says I can't do this is quickly overruled by my heart."

Thank You

2011-06-11T16:40:00.002-05:00

I want to send a huge thank you to my bloggy friends who have showered me with comfort and encouragement these past few days. And also to the one little branch of my family who noticed my "absence" and lifted me up as well (you know who you are...love you so much:).

Today was such a fun day. I am a member of the DSACT (Down Syndrome Association of Central Texas) and today was my first time to volunteer with the children's learning program. I was a classroom assistant for the toddler class first, and then with the 4-5 year old children next. Brittany came with me, and we both had so much fun! Such wonderful little cuties.

Maddiesim of the Day: "Taylor threw my nose!"

Taylor did that thing where you say "I got your nose" (and then stick your thumb through your fist so it looks like you actually have the nose) to Maddie and then pretended to throw her nose. It was so funny because she really believed it. Maybe that's mean of me to think it was funny...was that mean?

Sorry, Friends

2011-06-10T07:02:00.004-05:00

I'm sorry for the radio silence. I hope nobody was offended, or thought that I had only excluded them. I didn't know how else to take my blog "off the air" without completely deleting it. You see, I needed some time to breathe. And to think. We are struggling with a few parts of this adoption. When our social worker called to schedule our home visit for June 26th, there was a series of events that has now brought us to the place we currently are in. (This place sucks, by the way.) I guess for both Corey and I and others around us, reality set in. The ol' reality check. Harumph. Who wants to live in reality anyway? Cause it bites. Remember that cult classic "Reality Bites"? Good ol' Winona Ryder. Good to see her try to salvage some semblance of a career by showing up in "Black Swan".

Well anyway, I digress.

Ummm...what was I talking about?

See? My brain is fried. I have learned some new information, or rather some clarification on some old information, and what scares us is the less than two months between the two big "agency fees" coming due. The first is due when we submit our dossier, and the second when we travel, which could be as little as one month later! I'm not sure if it is appropriate for me to give specifics on this public forum, so I will refrain from causing your eyes to be sucked back into your brain so early this morning with the astronomical figures I am referring to. Again, reality bites. But it is what it is, and we are exploring another avenue (Thank you Jenn and Renee!) before we make any definitive steps forward or backward. This is something we will do, without a shred of doubt. We are waiting for God to reveal his timeline.

Thank you all for your support, and your kind words (and your notes to let me know I had my blog on private!). The best part of the internet is "meeting" all you other RR mamas out there, because only you understand what is going on in my mind and heart.

2011-06-08T08:43:00.003-05:00

I have directed you all before to the blog of a family I have been following that is currently in their daughter's birth country. They have passed court, and are now in the 10 day wait period. I have hijacked this video from their blog, made by someone advocating for Mia Kareen before her family even found her. It is so hard to watch, but so important to see. This is why we are adopting Carmen. This is why we are filling out stacks of paperwork, exposing our lives to a social worker, and humbly asking for donations from people we have never met. None of it is easy. None of it is comfortable. We have chosen a hard road to walk. I don't believe that God wants us to be comfortable, though.

Please, if you can, help us to save precious Carmen from this fate. She is not in Serbia, but the conditions depicted in the video are accurate for all of EE. It doesn't have to be this way.

How About a Kindle?

2011-06-07T08:15:00.002-05:00

The Warners are traveling in a week for their son Cliff and they are still in need of funds. If you would like a chance to win a Kindle (I know I sure would!) then click on this link and make a donation. It only takes $5 to be entered into their giveaway, you can't beat that!

http://buildingourvillage.blogspot.com/2011/06/last-final-push-fundraiser.html?spref=fb

Meet Our Family

2011-06-03T17:17:00.003-05:00

I realized that I have never taken the opportunity to introduce you to our family. I know that I have the family picture album on the top of the blog, but I want to tell you a little more about this fun loving Christian family that is working so hard to share our home and ourselves with one little orphan halfway across the world.

The Daddy

This is Corey. He is a wonderful husband and a super father. He is a licensed commercial fire alarm technician who works extremely hard to take care of his family. He puts us first, in everything, and I regularly pray to God to make me half as generous as he is. He loves to fish and is really the sweetest and most affectionate man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

The Mommy

You all know me already. I am a stay at home mom, and my favorite thing to do is read. I love to go on the back porch with my book for a few minutes of peace to recharge. I want nothing more in this world than to be a good wife, a good mother, and just a good person.

The Sister

This is Brittany, she is twelve years old and will be in the 7th grade. She is a competitive gymnast and spends hours every day at the gym working so hard. Despite this, she made straight A's last year once again! She also just made the cheer-leading team for next year. I wish I had her endless energy! (and her talent, and her sweetness, and her spirit...)

The Brother

Cameron is 10 and will be in the 5th grade. He has been in karate and basketball, but most of all loves soccer! He plays on indoor and outdoor leagues. I'm pretty sure he feels outnumbered by sisters, so he really loves to get away from all of us girls and go fishing with his stepfather! Cameron also made straight A's again last year. As my only son, he holds a special place in my heart.

The Sister

Taylor is 5 and will be starting kindergarten this fall. She has spent some time in mother's day out programs and loves it, so she can't wait until school starts. She asks me almost every day if tomorrow is a school day. She loves to do puzzles, color and is very creative. She is super outgoing, so I have no fears about her missing me when she starts school! Taylor is very opinionated and wants what she wants when she wants it, she told me just this evening that "listening is so hard"!

The Sister

Madison is 2 1/2 years old. She is a complete and total mama's girl. She has never been anywhere but with me, and she isn't as trusting and talkative to strangers as Taylor is. Maddie's early grasp of vocabulary and logical reasoning just continues to blow us away every day. She can already recognize some letters of the alphabet and count to 10. I think her IQ is Corey's and mine added together. I fear this child as a teenager...we've got trouble 'a comin!

Not One Winner...

2011-06-01T07:43:00.000-05:00

...but two! As added incentive to help us bring Carmen home, I am adding this Seven Slings Baby Carrier to the painting giveaway. This sling is brand new, still sealed in the original packaging, and is size 4 (medium according to their sizing chart). I received it in the mail yesterday, and I will ship it to the winner's home!

So let's recap.

Here's how to enter to win:

$10 donation= 1 entry

Sharing on Facebook, your blog, Twitter= 1 entry

$20 donation= 3 entries

$30 donation= 5 entries

$50 donation= 10 entries

I will put everybody in a list according to how many entries you received, and then randomly draw two winners. The first winner will receive this original oil on canvas painting by John Diehl.
The second person whose name I draw will win this beautiful and stylish sling by Seven Slings.

Please use the Chipin on the right sidebar to donate, or you can click on Carmen's picture to donate directly to our Reece's Rainbow family sponsorship grant and your donation will be tax deductible. You can also donate by mail, please email me at thegoggblog@gmail.com and I will provide you with the address.

Remember, please leave me a comment to let me know if you have shared the giveaway or donated through the family sponsorship grant so I can add you to the list.

Happy Donating and Good Luck!

Ahead one step...I mean 20% of one step

2011-05-31T20:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Corey and I began our requisite 10 hours of online adoption training. It is difficult to do with kids running around, but at least we finished the first one out of five separate two hour courses. It was eye-opening without a doubt. This particular course was about older child adoption, and reading the case histories was heartbreaking. I knew already that children who have been in the foster care system for years and children that have lived in an institution for years would have "issues". That's just plain common sense. I would be lying if I said that we weren't surprised and slightly dismayed by the length of the list of complicated 3 word diagnoses ending in "disorder". Attachment disorder...sensory integration disorder...post traumatic stress disorder...you get my drift. Overwhelming and very, very sad. This is one of many reasons we are anxious to get to Carmen: the earlier the intervention, the better. Again, plain common sense. Oh, how I wish we could help more than just one child.

And yet, we wait again. The earliest I could make our appointments for our medicals is almost two weeks away, and our homestudy agency does not conduct the home visit until every other requirement for the homestudy has been fulfilled. I know, I know. All in God's time, not mine.

Carmen Is Home!

2011-05-30T10:33:00.001-05:00

Just kidding. Bad joke, I know! But I can't wait until I can title a post like this for real!

Carmen's 1st Giveaway!

2011-05-27T07:29:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the advice of my kind RR friends, I have decided to change this giveaway. Even if you have seen this post, please scroll down and see how easy it is help us and possibly win at the same time!

One very lucky person will be the proud new owner of this beautiful piece of artwork.

John Diehl is an extremely talented artist who has generously slashed his price for this painting so that we can use it in a giveaway to raise funds for our adoption. Named "Clearing 246", this painting is an original oil on canvas that measures 38"x26" and is wood framed. It will be shipped directly from John's art studio to the home of one lucky donor!

I first found John Diehl two Christmases ago through an ad on Craigslist that landed me on his website. We purchased one of John's paintings from the blurscape series as my Christmas gift, "Clearing 79", and it is hanging on the wall above our bed. You would be surprised how relaxing and soothing it is to just look at the painting, and so the bedroom is the perfect place for it. Of course, you can hang yours wherever you want to! Trust me, the paintings are beautiful and will enhance any room in any home.

Here's the skinny.

$10 donation= 1 entry

$20 donation = 3 entries

$50 donation = 10 entries

If you would like your donation to be tax deductible, please click on Carmen's picture on the right sidebar and you can donate directly to our Reece's Rainbow family sponsorship grant. If you choose this method to donate, please leave me a comment here on this post so that I may add your name to the giveaway list!

Also, you can receive an entry for the giveaway by sharing it through Twitter, Facebook or on your own blog, or by becoming a follower. Please leave me a comment and let me know you have done that so I can add you all to the list! I will use Random.org to determine the winner and announce it here on my blog.

You can read the tab at the top "It Costs How Much?" for more information on why we are fundraising and see a breakdown of the total expenses. If you feel led to donate, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. If you are unable to at this time, please know that we are grateful that you are following our story and praying for us. Please pray that God will provide for this adoption, if it is truly His will for Carmen to be a Goggins.

Note To Self

2011-05-25T18:06:00.001-05:00

Don't watch "Knocked Up" while your young children are in the are awake and within hearing distance. It may or may not result in your two and five year olds laying on the couch with their legs bent pretending to give birth. Not pretty sight. Maddie may or may not say that it is her turn, and Taylor may or may not say "no, you have to be down there to catch the baby". There may or may not be much groaning, grunting, and little scrunched up red faces.

Ahem.

Adoption Creed on Etsy

2011-05-24T09:21:00.000-05:00

"Not flesh of my flesh
nor bone of my bone
but still MIRACULOUSLY my own.
Never forget for a single minute,
you didn't grow under my heart but in it."

**I borrowed this from Vanessa, you can view her post here.

I just want to share...

2011-05-21T08:19:00.000-05:00

There are several families that are traveling on their first trip right now, to their SDA appointments to officially accept the referral and to meet their children for the first time. I can't even describe how I feel when I read their updates. I am so happy for them, and at the same time I just think I can't wait until that is us! I was so touched by the words of this mother meeting Mia Kareen for the first time, I just had to share it here.

The first link is a video of their very first visit to the orphanage, and when you see Mia coming in the room, it is the first time this mama and papa have laid eyes on the daughter they worked so hard and for so long to get to. It is very touching. I wish I had taken a picture of Corey's face as he watched it, his smile stretched from ear to ear.

http://www.kareensjourneyhome.blogspot.com/2011/05/video-of-meeting-mia-kareen.html

http://www.kareensjourneyhome.blogspot.com/2011/05/playing-with-our-girl.html

2011-05-20T09:44:00.000-05:00

The news we have been waiting on is....GOOD! Praise God! We have been preapproved in our homestudy and can now schedule the home visit date with the social worker. Moving forward at long last!

Diapers for Adults?

2011-05-18T08:34:00.000-05:00

Why would we want to adopt a child with Down Syndrome? Don't you ever want to be free to travel and do whatever you want when you reach retirement age? Do you realize that this child will never move out of your house? This child will not stay a child, and will one day be an adult that you have to still care for as you would a child. You will never be able to do anything you want to do, you will be tied to this person forever.

These are things I have heard from people when I share our plans to adopt Carmen. This post is for you. This video is for you. Please take the time to watch it.

Here is one thing I have not shared here before. When I was carrying Taylor, we received a positive result for Down Syndrome on the quad screen. The weeks between that call from the doctor and our appointment with the geneticist were filled with fear, anxiety and buckets of tears. I was not prepared for this at all, as I was relatively young (29) and sailed through my first two pregnancies. During the appointment with the geneticist, she did an ultrasound to check for soft markers for Down Syndrome, and found some possible signs. We decided against the amnio, it wasn't worth the risk to the baby. You see, during those two weeks we realized that whatever the outcome of the appointment, we would not terminate the pregnancy. Taylor was born healthy and normal. A few years later when the results of the quad screen came back indicating Maddie might possibly have Down Syndrome, we didn't even blink. We did not make an appointment with a geneticist, for we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we wanted her, no matter what. Maddie was born healthy and normal.

In the USA, 92% of women who receive a prenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome choose to terminate the pregnancy. I can understand the fear that drives them to do this, because I felt that same fear during those two weeks. What I cannot understand is that statistic. Especially when there is a long waiting list in the states of adoptive parents wanting a baby with Ds. A waiting list. You see, the secret is out. That extra chromosome makes for one special, special child. Every blog I read written by a mother who was surprised with the birth of a baby who happens to have Ds considers this child to be a gift. The best of blessings.

Carmen is our blessing. And maybe she will be like the people in the video above, or maybe she will need more from us. Either way, we want her. Designer genes and all.

What's in a Name

2011-05-17T15:17:00.000-05:00

We know her real name!! We learned Carmen's Russian name a few days ago. Reece's Rainbow gives the children special names to protect their privacy, which is something that even I didn't know until earlier this month. Originally we were going to keep Carmen as her first name and give her the middle name of Faith, but that has changed for two reasons. First, while a beautiful name, Faith is not very original as I have seen at least two other RR families chose that middle name for their new daughters. More important, we were going to keep Carmen as her first name because we thought it was the name she is accustomed to hearing. As wonderful as it will be for her to move out of the orphanage and into a real home with her own family, it will still be a huge disruption in her life. The adjustment period is going to be difficult, we didn't want her to have to learn a new name on top of everything else. Plus, we wanted to honor her heritage.

Sooooo, all this is to say that her name will not be Carmen. We cannot share her Russian name with you at this point, but I can tell you that we planning on calling her Hope (with her Russian name either as her first name or her middle name). Of course, we may meet her in person (can't wait for this day!) and decide that Hope does not suit her, but for now we love it and she certainly embodies the predominant feeling we have throughout all of this...hope.

A Race Against Time

2011-05-16T08:44:00.000-05:00

I've had people tell me to slow down. Take your time, make sure you have thought it through and through. Of course it is imperative that we go into this with our eyes wide open, having thought about it, prayed about it, and carefully considered if this is the right thing to do for our family. I don't argue with that. But once we have made the decision to persue this adoption, we must move. And move quickly. Because this is a race against time. Every day that it takes us to complete the paperwork, to raise the funds, is another day that Carmen is sitting in that orphanage. Every day she gets closer to the age when plans will be made for her transfer to a place even more horrifying. You see, Down Syndrome international adoption truly is saving a life. If you doubt that, please visit this blog and read this post:

http://alongtheroadadoption.blogspot.com/2011/05/rest-in-peace.html

Then tell me again that we need to slow down, and take our time. Tell me again to wait a few years, until we have more money. Until our children are older. Until we are living in a bigger house.

These children don't have a few years.

Sneak Peak into Carmen's 1st Giveaway

2011-05-09T20:41:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure which part of international adoption is the hardest. The mounds of paperwork? Having your life laid out in all it's glory for strangers? The interminable waiting? The uncertainty? Feeling a mother's love for a child that is so far away, one that you can't kiss and cuddle, tuck in at night or even know that someone is giving her enough food, keeping her warm enough, or changing her diaper often enough?

Or, could it be.......the insane amount of money required to give a child something that they are entitled to? Something that is a basic human right...a mother and a father. A family.
Yes, I think that just may be the hardest part. Asking people for money. It's not easy, and quite frankly it stinks. Here are the costs, laid out in black and white. Maybe you should sit down first.
Homestudy, including application fee (local agency): $1500
Total Adoption agency fees: $24,750
USCIS fee for immigration approval: $750
Biometrics (fingerprints): $170
Apostilles on dossier documents (this basically is the state certifying that the papers have been notarized): $100-$600
Visas (per parent, per trip): $200-$500
Airfare (per parent, per trip, 2 trips total): varies greatly depending on the time of year and advance notice, keep in mind that the first trip usually happens within a few weeks from the time you are given your travel date): $600-$3,000
Daily expenses while in region (per couple, per trip. includes translator, lodging and transportation): $200-$300 per day, 1-3 weeks
Adoption agency staff abroad assistance: $881
Hotel in capital city on the second trip: $360
Child's immigrant medical exam: $125
US embassy child's visa: $380
Physical exam of parents in region: $500
Orphanage donation: $1,000

I can't really give you a grand total, due to the range of some of the fees. But, as you can see, the total cost is huge. Gigantic. A nearly insurmountable mountain. There are various other small(er) fees too like postage, copies of official documents like birth and marriage certificates, gifts for the orphanage workers, etc. I walk a fine line between thinking about the money part enough to know what has to be done and to plan, and thinking about it too much. Because really, if we think about it too much, we wouldn't move forward. I don't think anyone would, except movie stars and other millionaires. You do have to be realistic, though, because the money has to come from somewhere. I have seen others in the Reece's Rainbow family raise enough money to be fully funded just days before they travel. So I know it can happen, there are people out there who want to help. I know some people can't adopt but still want to do something to help these neglected and unloved kids. If that's you, welcome! Ha.
Faith...just trying to have faith.

So back to the asking people for money part. We will be hosting our first giveaway to raise donations to cover some of these astronomical fees very soon. Corey's wonderful Aunt Mary, who lives in Missouri, is a warm and generous person. She has kindly offered to make a quilt to help us raise funds. Here is a sneak peak at this fabulous prize, a genuine handmade quilt for one lucky person who donates to Carmen.

The pattern is called delectable mountian, and she is using a sage green and unbleached muslin (which is like a cream color). It will be queen sized, and absolutely wonderful for any bedroom, boy or girl! Or a guest bedroom! It is going to be beautiful, and we thank you so very much Mary.

We will "officially" begin the giveaway in about two weeks, and you will probably see this post again then! We just feel we need to be closer to the end of our homestudy first. If you would like to be an early bird, please donate by clicking on Carmen's picture rather than the Chipin. That way if something goes wrong with the homestudy (knocking on wood right now), the money will stay with Carmen in her fund. You will be entered in the giveaway. We have tons of money to raise, and every dollar is a gift. If you feel led to donate that would be awesome, but we would also be grateful if you only pass the word.

Thank you, and stay tuned....

Ode to Toilet Paper

2011-05-07T08:01:00.000-05:00

Well, that went well.
And now on to some humor, because sometimes all you can do is laugh.
Warning: I haven't used any words that are not now allowed on network television, but if your ears are sensitive you might want to skip this post.

"Ode to Toilet Paper"

Alas dear toilet paper, you go so fast
wiping so much little potty training ass.
It seems to me that there really should be
some kind of contraption, some kind of thing
To keep tiny hands from grabbing so much
wadded up paper for one little butt.
Packages upon packages bought every week
I should grow my own forest to wipe all this cheek.

Mother's Day

2011-05-04T08:40:00.000-05:00

Mother's Day is supposed to be for me. For us. Those of us who are mothers. This year, I want this day to mean something more. In lieu of a gift, will you make a donation to help us with the adoption expenses? This way, not only am I blessed but Carmen is blessed as well.
I would be willing to bet that the other Reece's Rainbow hopeful mothers would like this gift that keeps on giving too, so if you click on my followers you can access some of their blogs!

Albina

2011-05-02T12:19:00.000-05:00

There is a little girl on Reece's Rainbow who needs our help. She still needs a family to commit to her, and save her from a life filled with loneliness and misery. There is a woman who has decided to do something big to help Albina. She has committed to match any donations made to this beautiful child, up to $5000, to help her family get to her faster. Many families want to adopt, but the financial barriers are just too big for them. They are for us too, but we are choosing to trust and pray that God just moves those mountains! So, this wonderful woman (who shall remain nameless here to protect her privacy, but Michelle is calling her Mrs. B) is going to help Albina's family step forward. Please click on this link, and donate if you can. Who knows...maybe you will even find out that she is your daughter!

www.reecesrainbow.org/albina-15h

I promise you, one thing that you will never regret is giving up that cup of Starbucks today and donating that five bucks instead to one of these children in need. As always, you can click on my little blond baby's picture and donate tomorrow's cup to her!:)

First Pig Tails

2011-04-30T15:23:00.000-05:00

Maddie's hair has been, er, slow to come in. In fact, all of my daughters didn't really start to grow hair until after their second birthdays. Today is the first day ever that Maddie's hair has been long enough to put up into pig tails. No, not pony tails, because they are surely too short and too curly to be called those.

These are most definately pig tails.

God Is Good

2011-04-25T13:16:00.000-05:00

This morning we spent almost two hours at the special education office for the school district that Taylor will be attending when she starts kindergarten in the fall. We were having her evaluated for speech therapy eligibility, though they conduct a complete evaluation in all areas of her development. She is on track in every way, including her pre-academics. I have been worried that since she is home with me and not in preschool, she would be behind somehow. I always take advantage of every teachable moment in everyday life, but we also have recently been focusing more on letters and numbers. It turns out that she knows everything they expect incoming kindergartners to know! She also qualifies for speech therapy through the school district, which she will be beginning when she enters kindergarten. I learned so much about the special education program for our district, even though Taylor will only be taking advantage of the speech part this new knowledge will be hopefully coming in handy one day!

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T09:45:00.000-05:00

Only on Easter (ok, and Christmas too) does our day begin like this...

I am finding myself in a weird place today. I have to admit that I am struggling right now with the whole "God is telling me to do blank" thing today. Because in truth, things are happening that I don't know how to read. Things that, depending on how you look at it, I could interpret as God is telling me no, or as God is testing me to see how hard I am willing to work to follow him, testing my strength and desire. How do you really know? Here is where I make a confession. When I used to hear people say that God is telling them to do something, I secretly thought "and just how is God telling you this? speaking into your ear? no, you just want to do it. that's all". As my mind began to open up, and my heart and faith to grow, I thought maybe it is possible. Then as you all know already, I experienced it for myself. I truly felt like God is calling me to help, to step outside of my comfortable life and do something big. To save this child from a short life of pure horror. And more than that, when I look at Carmen, I completely believe that she is my child. My daughters' sister. My son's sister. We love her, it's as simple as that.

But now, I am once again confused. Maybe I went too far in the opposite direction, and began to read into every little thing. I started to take everything that did or did not happen as a sign from God. Herein lies my current problem. Is what has transpired this week God telling me that this is not what he wants me to do, or as I mentioned earlier, is he testing me? How hard will I push against opposition to follow His will?

I realize that this day, this day that Christ was risen from the dead, is not an appropriate day to question either Him or my faith (if there ever is such a day!). I am just hoping that some of you can share with me your experiences, your thoughts, your advice.

Now, back to coloring eggs for our hunt. Have a blessed day!

Finding That Balance

2011-04-22T17:30:00.000-05:00

Happy Good Friday!

I Know, I Know

2011-04-20T18:55:00.000-05:00

I think God is telling me that I have no control over this. That it will happen in His time, and that His timing is perfect. One small hiccup, does nothing more than add some time until the completion of our home study (I hope). But enough to remind me that I can't control either the outcome or the length of the road ahead of us.

God Does Answer Prayers

2011-04-20T08:18:00.000-05:00

First, check out our new button on the right! Now you can see our beautiful girl, and click directly on it to make a tax deductible donation to our family sponsorship fund. Mostly I just like looking at her picture:)

(BTW my wonderful husband "accidentally" left his laptop at home today, that is why I am posting this morning.)

Another funny story...
I am having trouble balancing working to get this process moving and keeping the homefires burning. I feel like I am not "present", and my girls are starting to notice. Not-so-good behaviors are cropping up, like regression in potty training for Maddie, fighting, destruction of anything within reach, and lots of crying and whining. I promised myself (and anyone else with this concern) that my biological children would not suffer from us doing this, that they would not lose out on anything. I feel I am not giving them the attention they need and deserve, so I am trying to focus more on them and just turn the timing over to God. The night before last I prayed for God to help me be on the computer less the next day and focus more on the girls. Well, as you know now yesterday morning right away my old computer died. Dead. Gone. God surely is listening and walking right beside me in this, because he answered that prayer right away. My mom always said be careful when you pray for things like patience because He might just give you a new trial to teach you patience. She was right. Be careful what you pray for. Ha!

And Another One Bites The Dust

2011-04-19T21:11:00.000-05:00

My computer pooped out this morning. Right now I am on my husbands work laptop to post this, and since I am not exactly sure what will come of the computer shopping tomorrow I thought it best to inform all of you wonderful people that I may be out of commission for a short while. Ha! Loving that 100 people have visited since I checked the stats yesterday. You guys are great!

Here is another Maddieism (for those of you who haven't been reading my other blog, Maddie is my two year old daughter):
"Mama the toilet is being mean to me." (said when the lid fell down on her back)

This Is Awesome

2011-04-18T09:35:00.000-05:00

This is just too cool. This blog has been live for, what, like one week? Maybe two? And I have more followers than I do on my family blog, which has been up for two years. Plus, the number of visitors I have had since we announced little bitty's name has tripled! I couldn't be more grateful to the Reece's Rainbow adoption community. You guys are great, it really helps to have support and to know that the wide range of feelings we are experiencing right now are normal. Y'all get me, and that's awesome. So, thanks!

We spent the weekend painting the house (interior). We have been living here for almost two years, and with young children the walls get gross pretty fast. When we went to Home Depot, we only took the color of the paint, not the name of the brand. So, I had to guess on a color that was similar (we are renting and can't change the color without getting approval) and you can guess where this story goes from here. Suffice it to say, I am glad that's over. Mostly over. We still have to paint the bedrooms.

Three sisters, wishing on a fourth.

Yogurt, Nintendo DS and blogging this morning.

Call for Help from Fellow Adoptive Mothers

2011-04-17T08:47:00.001-05:00

I need help from my fellow RR adoptive mothers who have more experience in this arena than I do. Can you all please tell me the best way to arrange the sidebar on the right? What should I put at the top so it is the first thing people see? I admit to feeling slightly defeated this morning, as we still have the dreaded zero. Our number of visitor has more than doubled in one day, so yay for that! It is very exciting to see our story being shared. But, I wonder if there is a better way to arrange it. Is it tacky to have the donation box at the top? I have requested the button with her picture on it, so I'm pretty sure that should be placed at the very top of the sidebar when it is ready, but any suggestions for now?

The Announcement You Have All Been Waiting For

2011-04-15T17:13:00.000-05:00

We are adopting Carmen! Please visit the pink link to the right to see a beautiful picture of her and visit our family sponsorship page on Reece's Rainbow.

How It All Began Part II

2011-04-13T08:27:00.000-05:00

I stumbled upon Our Journey to Anya, and began checking that blog obsessively! I can honestly say that little Anya was working with God to plant this idea into my heart. I read other Reece's Rainbow adoption blogs as well, wondering all along why I had so much interest in these other people's lives. We were done having children, we we working towards the college years when we would have a life again. Blah blah blah. Then I began to wonder, what life? Why am I looking forward that so much? And the idea was born.

We thought. And prayed. And thought some more. A lot more. At one point (I am ashamed to admit) I prayed to God to please take this off of my heart. It is too much, I cried. Too much money, too much work, and there are too many unknowns. God isn't letting me off the hook, however. As I went back and forth in my mind for weeks, I finally came to a realization. I could go back and forth for years. There are as many reasons not to do it as there are reasons to do it. Thus, the neverending battle in your mind. I realized this: if every person sat there thinking up reasons not to adopt these children, no one would do anything. Ever. If I focused on the what-ifs, possible problems and negative outcomes, I would be paralized. And this applies to everything in life. You would never takes steps forward to do anything at all if you sat there and figured all of the things in life that could go wrong.

We feel God is calling us to do this. I feel that this is my chance to do something to help others, to make a difference beyond the four walls of our home. Our children have all of the clothes, toys, food, and love that they need. This little girl has none of these things. Loving someone else could not make our biological children miss out on any love themselves, because we couldn't love them any more than we already do. How can this hurt the kids? They will learn compassion, patience, and a love completely devoid of manipulation. They will learn that just because someone is different, it doesn't mean they are less of a person and undeserving of love and respect. They will learn that they can use their own lives to make a difference in the world. And I think it will show them just how fortunate they are, how much they have, because I think they take all of their toys and electronic gadgets for granted.

No one in this house is under any illusion that this process will be easy. Or always fun. Nor will it always feel good. One life. We have one life to live, and we want to make it count.

A Funny Story

2011-04-12T11:58:00.000-05:00

So, I don't know if you all have noticed by I misspelled "mountain" in my blog address. I was pleasantly surprised that the url was available, since the phrase is not all that original. Thanks to my friends at the RR Yahoo group, who kindly pointed out that the link (with mountain spelled correctly) I was advertising as my new adoption blog landed them on some random blog that has not been updated with a new post since 2009. I guess my mind is on more important matters than spelling. I'm not usually this dimwitted, people. Now, there is nothing I can do short of starting over. My poor husband last night, after I told him the problem, just said "well just start a new one". As you all know, a lot of heart, blood, sweat and tears goes into creating your adoption blog, into thinking of a theme and making the colors and background just right. I mean, you are sharing your journey with others. You are asking people, strangers mostly, to help you bring your own daughter home. You can't just dump what you have worked on all day and think of a new title! *Poor man will never make such an idle suggestion again probably.*

So, to my point. Do you all think it is ok to leave it this way? Will people really notice the misspelling in the blog address, since of course the title is correct? I don't want to look like a moron, you know. We are in the fight of our lives, here, and it would not help to have other people think poorly of us. Opinions?

Coming Soon

2011-04-11T16:24:00.000-05:00

The Big Announcement: Who is this little girl who is the daughter of our hearts? Along with her picture on the sidebar with the ability to donate directly through Reece's Rainbow.

And...

Our first fundraising giveaway!

How It All Began Part I

2011-04-11T14:49:00.000-05:00

If you are new 'round here and have not been reading my family blog, start by reading these two posts.

www.thegoggblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/who-is-that-tapping-me-on-the-shoulder.html
www.thegoggblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/do-you-hear-that.html

The first time I spoke those thoughts out loud (except to my husband) was scary. I was afraid what people might think, how they would judge me, and I didn't want to hear of any opposition they might have. You see, this has been on my heart for a long time. Then, I mentioned it one day to my husband. I think he thought I was joking. A few months later, I brought it up again, more seriously this time. Two weeks ago, I fell in love. One week ago, my husband fell in love too. Stay tuned....

We Will Move Any Mountain

Catzilla

Silence

Time to Post

Just to be Clear...

Mumblings and Ramblings and Even Some Begging

Warning: Pity Party

Click on this Link

Changes

Mia's Homecoming Video

Reaching

Father's Day and Then Some

Choices, Regrets and the Future

The Worst Day Ever

The Worst Day Ever

Is it Possible?

Thank You

Sorry, Friends

How About a Kindle?

Meet Our Family

Not One Winner...

Ahead one step...I mean 20% of one step

Carmen Is Home!

**Carmen's 1st Giveaway!**

Note To Self

Adoption Creed on Etsy

I just want to share...

Diapers for Adults?

What's in a Name

A Race Against Time

**Sneak Peak into Carmen's 1st Giveaway**

Ode to Toilet Paper

Mother's Day

Albina

First Pig Tails

God Is Good

Happy Easter!

Finding That Balance

I Know, I Know

God Does Answer Prayers

And Another One Bites The Dust

This Is Awesome

Call for Help from Fellow Adoptive Mothers

The Announcement You Have All Been Waiting For

How It All Began Part II

A Funny Story

Coming Soon

How It All Began Part I

Carmen's 1st Giveaway!

Sneak Peak into Carmen's 1st Giveaway